Well the Oscars are almost here and I need to catch up (and by catch up I mean watch a bunch of movies that I have not yet seen) so that I can make my predictions,which are almost wrong, but I like making them anyway. So, I went and saw Milk Thursday night at the theater. It was really amazing. Sean Penn did such a fantastic job. The scenery, music, everything was done so well. More importantly, the story was so inspirational. I don't find many movies that really make you feel positive and able to affect change.

On the other hand, I watched He's Just Not that Into You last night and...not inspirational. To begin with, I had a bad feeling about this film from the moment I saw the first preview. It had a few things going against it. The first is: Jennifer Aniston. I'm sure she is a delightful person, but I feel like she is always Rachel Green (her Friends character, which I think is less of a character and more a scripted version of herself, but I digress). The second, and more important, issue was the content/message. The film and the book by the same name seem to say in a more glib way that women need to have it spelled out to them when men don't want them because their desperation clouds their intellect and self-respect. Fantastic. Because women are all like that and no man has ever been desperate. Whatever.The movie was just a awful as I thought it would be. There were moments so embarrassing that I had to turn my head because it was literally painful. I just think that no character was likable or relateable. And the movie just made women look weak and pathetic. The men also were pathetic but the focus, as you can imagine both from the title and advertising, was on how women don't get it. So.. not inspirational.

Hi Everybody!
I was hoping to ask all of you wonderful people a favor. My company is holding a contest to see which employee can get the most people to text in on their behalf. The winner gets two tickets to this year's superbowl (all expenses paid). this would be an awesome gift to give my husband. I need like 150 texts to win. If you could please text the number 57533 with the message P00077804 by the end of the day tomorrow, I would really appreciate it. And just to put your mind at ease, there is no charge to text this number and you are not enrolling in anything or being placed on any list.

Thanks so much,
Amy

So it is my first night in my new house. With the crappy Ohio weather the moving process was a pain in the tucus. But we are here now and everything is in. Its really beautiful. The house was just built so everything is all nice and new. I have this huge 2 acre yard. Its exactly what we wanted.

Tomorrow I will post with pics and everything, but tonight I am going to be whiny. I really hate moving. I am aggravated and overwhelmed by the whole process. Its daunting. And the project is not made easier by other people. Its not their fault. Its just that...I am a freak. I want to do everything right now. I will push through until the job is done. And I mean done in the sense that every box is unpacked and its items in the appropriate places. Most people believe in a bit more moderation. Suffice to say, I can get a bit prickly. Bitchy. Okay, so I become a total manic, type A, psycho. My own Dad calls me "Old Ramrod" because of how stubbornly focused I become on completeing something. Nothing gets in the way. Sure it sounds bad, but that can be a good thing too. It can! Honest. And anyway crazy control freaks are adorable, right?

Anyway, between the weather and waiting for delivery people and working around my work schedule and Scott's work schedule and my brother's work schedule (my brother is my cheap labor), I just feel like this took way longer than necessary and so I have been feeling really anxious for lik two weeks straight and now I am just exhausted.

Oh well, its practically done now (even the cable and Internet are hooked up) and I can relax.

Hello all. Sorry I have been MIA lately. Honestly I am on here all off the time keeping up with you all, I just seldom have the time to post. I want to change that. Whether I can remains to be seen.

I am working on my dissertation more now. I am not as far along as I'd like to be, but you'll have that. As you may or may not know, I am doing my dissertation on working -class perspectives on literacy and literacy development. Basically, there is a large body of work that discusses the lack of or underdevelopment of working-class literacy skills and the fact that this hurts them in terms of their class status and social and financial power. However, nobody is getting the working-class POV. Why is literacy development not a priority? What is literacy to working-class people? What role does literacy play in their lives (past, present, and future)? It is this void that I want to fill. I am doing narrative research to capture the working-class perspective on this issue.

Right now, I am reading this book about power and literacy. Its interesting because it talks about how we teach people that literacy is the ability to read and write and how we then develop literacy by teaching people to read and write. But we don't teach them to be critical of what they read or write. In essence then, we teach them how to uphold the very social structures that victimize them. It has all of these social examples from the past two decades (Reaganomics, the Bush election scandal, Clinton/Lewinsky). It uses these examples to show how, as a culture, we are just vessels constantly being filled with info and ideas, but never questioning the belief systems, power structures, or even logic that breed them. I don't know that I agree with everything it says, but I do think that our education system and our social structure as a whole relies on a "Because I said so" mentality. We have a lot of social catch phrases and beautiful ideals, but we are afraid to acknowledge and confront how we fail at times to embody these ideals and we fail then to actually work toward achieving them.

I don't want to be ranty or political, its just that when I read this text, it kind of opened my eyes to this kind of intellectual laziness that I think we all settle into at times because its easier and more polite and just nicer than the alternative. It made me really think about the power that exists in reading and writing and how most of the time we, or at least I, take that power for granted and allow myself to be a passive vessel as opposed to a critical and aware person. Anyway I just thought I'd share or at least just get my thoughts out in a way

A week ago, Scott and I finally got married. Everything was perfect. We got married in the same church in which my mom and dad were married and in which I was raised. Its this beautiful old church with a picturesque sanctuary; cathedral ceiling, deep woods and carpets, stained glass windows, and a fairly prominent alter. I walked in and the sanctuary was dimmed with only candles lining/lighting the aisles. I had not been nervous the entire time before this, but as the wedding march began to play and everyone stood and I looked at everything around me and Scott in front of me, I suddenly felt a bit overwhelmed. My Dad must have sensed this because he whispered "You know there is a car out back its not too late." When I reached the alter and Scott, I just looked at him and held his hands. It was so powerful and emotional, I started crying. Not blubbery gross snotty crying, but tears were in my eyes and in my voice as I spoke. So me, this total hard ass, bitched out. Oh well though. It was wonderful. I have never been so happy in my whole life.

Oh yeah, and the red dress was a big hit. Everyone loved it. Some random woman outside took a picture of me and another woman stopped her car and told me how awesome the dress was.

The reception was great. We ate fantastic food, had a billion pictures taken, drank a lot, and smashed (a bit violently I won't lie) cake in each others faces. My cousin Angela caught the bouquet and is now talking to one of the groomsmen, AJ. After, we had a limo party. Like I said, perfect.

So it has been a little bit since I last posted to my lj. Stupid real life ruins everything! So I'll just give the basic run down on what has been going on.

1. I have been planning my wedding. This is so much more time consuming than I imagined t would be. I have been going to premarital counseling with my minister, meeting with florists, cake decorators, printers, djs, dealing with bridal party drama etc. Over it! Vegas is lookin' pretty sweet right now.

2. Started a new job. I have been working at Alltel as a financial services rep. I actually like it a lot. Its a lot of hours, but I love the people I work with.

3. I am planning the three classes I am teaching in the fall at YSU; two sections of developmental writing and one of research writing. This is harder than usual because I am rethinking some of the assignments that I have done in previous years and, in the dev courses, I am implementing more of a grammar component.

4. I entertainment, I have been watching So You Think You Can Dance and My Boys (because I love Jim Gaffigan so). I desperately love Lacey, Pasha, Niel, and Sabra. I'll be happy if any of them win. Can't wait for my fall schedule to begin. Waiting for Friday Night Lights and Timmy Riggins is torture.

So I was tagged by filmtx to do this meme...

RULES: Each player of this game starts off with 10 weird things/habits/little-known facts about themselves. People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 10 weird habits/things/little known facts as well as state this rule clearly. At the end you need to choose 10 people to be tagged and list their names. No tagbacks.

* I can't watch the movie Dirty Dancing without mouthing the words- all of the words.
* I have an odd thing for Tom Jones. Seriously, I cannot get enough of that man.
* My car, in motion, is like a magnet for animals. So despite being a total animal lover, I have massacred whole families at once. Birds, deer, chickens (they did not make it across the road that day), raccoons, possum, bunnies, etc. Its awful.
* I am super uncomfortable with overly romantic gestures. I don't know what to do because I know the guy is trying, but its all I can do not to giggle. Thank God my fiance is more subtle.
* I talk and walk in my sleep
* The grunge movement had a huge impact both on my taste in boys and my taste in music. To this day I am in love with Kurt Cobain. Fortunately, it did not impact my hygiene or my taste in clothes.
* I am really into skateboarding and surfing. Especially the sports as they were in the 60's and 70's. Watching it and reading about it of course, not doing it.
* My wedding dress is deep red.
* I obsessively buy/covet office supplies and organizational products
* I have been proposed to 3 times. Two I broke up with on the spot. And I said yes to bachelor number 3. We are getting married in October.

So I am basically tagging my entire f-list. I am such an lj loser!
catatonia00, fickledame, hidelawaylmae, kammgirl, lapdogdesign, ms_heart, picklepocket, spectralbovine, holly96, miniorr

The Dirty Thirty... 30 unknown facts/secrets about yourself:

1. When was the last time you shaved your legs?
2 days ago

2. What were you doing this morning at 8 am?
Sitting in a training class at Alltel (my new job)

3. What were you doing 15 minutes ago?
Sitting here wasting time online. Go ahead... ask me if that was different from 60 minutes or even 120 minutes ago.

4. What are you wearing?
Jeans and an AE t shirt

5. Are you mad at anyone right now?
Nope

6. Last person to say they loved you?
My fiance Scott

7. Last time you kissed someone?
This afternoon

8. Do you know the words to the song on your MySpace profile?
Not all of them

9. Last thing received in the mail?
Junk

10. Do you have any famous relatives?
Not that I'm aware of

11. Have you ever had sex in a public place?
Yeah...ok...I did.

12? What happened to 12?
No clue

13. How long is your hair?
Passed my shoulders

14. How many different drinks have you had today?
Two- coffee and Diet Pepsi

16. Are you any good at math?
Pretty good. I'm not Sarah or anything, but I do okay for myself.

17. Do you have plans on Saturday night?
I think I am going to Columbus to see miniorr

18. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach?
No

20. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
Yes

22. Do you stay friends with your ex?
Hahahahahah..oh wait, like seriously? Exes don't drop from the face of the Earth when you dump them? Huh...how about that?

23. What are you excited about?
Moving, wedding, new job, and my good hair day (so rare, you gotta celebrate when you get 'em)

24. What did you do last night?
Ran, graphic work, and watched So You Think You Can Dance?, Top Chef All Stars, and Real World Vegas Reunion (Don't judge me!)

25. Are any of your great-grandparents still alive?
No

26. Where do you keep your change?
In the pockets of my dirty jeans, on the shelf by my door, in the cupholder in my car, and in my purse

27. Do you remember the most naughty night of your life?
I do. Let's leave it at that, mmkay?

28. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?
It depends...is the bed big enough for me to have my own space?

29. What was the weather like on your birthday?
I think it was a little chilly but nice

30. Would you kiss anyone on your friends list?
All of you! Pucker up ladies and gentleman!

Yes you heard me...Rick James loves me. Well a Rick James impersonator loves me. I went out last night to see Disco Inferno (a disco cover band)with my friends and RJ made his move. It began all innocent..him singing to me, pointing to me as he sang Brick House, etc. Then during a chorus he motioned for me to come closer to him. He told me that he was disappointed that I had left so quickly the last time they had been in town. Um...why do you remember me sir? I did not even introduce myself. Anyway...It all went down hill from there. A unsolicited neck rub, a failed kiss attempt, and my friend Brandy's contention that I was "all her's" later and I realized that there was a problem. I had to escape Rick James.

I had hoped that the big fat engagement ring on my finger would deter these kinds of awkward weird, lame, sad come-ons. But they have not slowed down in the slightest. One guy last week actually pressed up against me and said "Tell me you don't want this." Worse...I knew that guy from back in the day. He slept with one of my friends. Eww!

So about Veronica Mars...I am not going to lie, I saw this cancellation coming. Still, I was really sad about it. I have never been as involved in a show as I was with VM. So I am not just not going to lose my weekly episodes, I am losing a sense of community. I know I wasn't a major player in the fandom or anything. I did not have the patience to defend my point of view or fight with bias and blind hatred. But I always enjoyed reading what other people had to say. Of course, I loved reading the posts of people who thought like me. But even when I disagreed with the total crazies, even when I was beyond frustrated with them, I enjoyed reading their posts because it gave me something to laugh at and bitch about and commiserate over with other people. So, in short, this community, the fanfic, the show itself, and most importantly, the amazing people I have met through this show make the cancellation all the more sad to me. Oh well, here is to three great years...

All these people who are feeling the need to tell me and everyone else just how much they hate RT, KB, VM, CW, etc and how they are so not going to watch the show anymore need to realize one important thing: WE DON'T CARE! You losers have been blathering on for two years about the betrayal that is Veronica Mars. Get over it! Watch it, don't watch it, but shut the hell up! For God's sake- an lj to campaign for the show's end? Are you serious? Just because you are over it (not because of what has actually happened but because of what might happen or might have happened according to some "source"), you want to, not just stop watching yourselves, but actively work to take it away from the people who still watch and still enjoy the show? How selfish. It just shows what I have suspected all along that a large group of our fandom, despite their ages, education, etc are no better than very small children.

(Thirty-Nine QUESTIONS YOU'VE NEVER BEEN ASKED IN A SURVEY

( Meme )

----------------10 years ago----------------------


1.) How old were you? 15
2.) Where did you go to school? Springfield Local High School
3.)Where did you work? Nowhere
4.) Where did you live? P-Town
5.) Where did you hang out? Home, school, with friends, with my boyfriend
6.) Did you wear glasses? No
7.) Who was your best friend? Kim and Danielle and Scott J. (not the fiance)
8.) How many tattoos did you have? 0
9.) How many piercings did you have? 4 (3 in one ear, one in the other)
10.) What car did you drive? None
11.) Had you been to a real party? Yes. By the time I was 15, I had done keg stands. Oh the dangers of hanging out with that older crowd.
12.) Had your heart broken? No
13.) Single/Taken/Married/Divorced: I was dating someone

----------------5 years ago----------------------

1.)How old were you? 20
2.) Where did you go to school? Youngstown State University
5.) Where did you hang out? Cedars, Collette's car, YSU, my apartment, Arbys (because I worked there)
7.) Who were your best friends? Collette and Scott J. and Scott H.
8.) Who was your crush? Scott (my fiance)
9.) How many tattoos did you have? 0
10.) How many piercings did you have? 4
11) What car did you drive? 1990 Chevy Cavalier
12.) Had you had your heart broken? No
13.) Single/Taken/Married/Divorced/Bitter: Dating Scott
14.) Any kids? No

**February 2007**

1.) How old are you? 25
2.) Where do you work? I teach college writing
3.) Where do you live? Boardman
4.) Do you wear glasses? No
5.) Who are your best friends? Danielle, Athena, Scott (my fiance)
6.) Do you talk to your old friends? Yes
7.)how many tattoo's dou have? 0
8.) How many piercings do you have? 2 (I let two grow over)
9.) What kind of car do you have? 03 Ford Focus
10.) Has your heart been broken? No
11.) Single/Taken/Married/Divorced/Bitter? Getting married in October
12.)ANY KIDS? No

Best, Worst, Last, Today, Tomorrow, Favorite, Currently, and True or False.


Best
1. Male friend: George
2. Female friend: Athena and Danielle
3. Vacation: Florida

Worst
1. Time of day: between 4pm-7pm
2. Day(s) of the Week: Wednesday
3. Food: Deer Meat
4. Memory: Oh my God! I would not even begin to publish that in an online journal.

Last:
1. Person you saw: My fiance, Scott
2. Talked to on the phone: Brandy
3. Text: Some company that kept texting me Libra's horoscope (btw..I am an Aries). The jackass who had my cell number before me never cancelled his subscription.
4. IMed: Sarah
5. Message over myspace: Donny (Guy I went to high school with)

Today
1. What are you doing now: Getting ready to go out and filling out this meme.
2. What are you wearing right now?:*seductive voice* Nothing at all...kidding. A black sweater over a white cami and gray dress pants.
3. Better than yesterday? No!

Tomorrow
1. Is: Going to be busy
2. Got any plans: Tons of work
3. Dislikes about tomorrow: Uhh...hello...tons of work

Favorite
1. Number: 4
2. Song: Jack and Diane- Mellencamp,
3. Color: Deep Red/Cranberry
4. Season: Fall

Currently
1. Missing someone: No
2. Mood: Meh
3. Wanting: *blushes*

True or False:

I am a cuddler.
Oh good God No

I am a morning person.
Kind of

I am a perfectionist.
True

I am an only child.
False. But when I was three I told my mom that I wanted to be. She did not listen and so a brother and sister were born.

I am currently in pajamas.
False

I am currently suffering from a broken heart
No

I am addicted to myspace.
False

I am online 24/7.
Not quite, but close

I am very shy around the opposite gender.
False

I can be paranoid at times.
Yeah

I currently regret something that I have done.
Currently..No

When I get mad, I curse frequently.
When I am mad, when I am happy, when I am sad,...whenever. I swear a lot.

I enjoy country music.
True

I love smoothies.
True

I enjoy talking on the phone.
Not so much, but it is a necessary evil

I have a crush.
I don't know...if you are marrying the guy is it a crush? Anyway though, I am majorly crushing on Taylor Kinsch aka Tim Riggins on Friday Night Lights

I have a hard time paying attention at school.
False

I have a hidden talent
True

I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.
True to some extent

I have a tendency to fall for the "wrong" girl/guy
False

I have all my grandparents.
false.. just one and not the good one either

I have at least one brother and/or sister.
true

I have been told that I have a sense of humor.
True

I have had a broken bone.
True-softball was a bitch. I broke fingers regularly.

I have changed a diaper.
True

I have changed a lot over the past year.
False

I have done something illegal.
True- Speeding, underage drinking, and some other stuff

I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
False

I have had major/minor surgery?
False

I have had the cops called on me?
False

Ok. To clarify, I am still in love with LoVe. But if Veronica is to date outside the Logan circle, I prefer Max 100 million times to Piz, who I just cannot bring myself to like or care about. On the other hand, I loved Max. Loved him!

Overall, I loved this episode. I was so happy with the Logan and Veronica scenes. I felt like they really demonstrated who Veronica and Logan were, both as individuals and as a couple. I liked that we could see Veronica trying to show Logan that she loved him and, more importantly, that we could see her trying to show Logan what she needs from him in a relationship. She seemed to be emphasizing that she does not expect him to be perfect; just honest.

Which seems to be a problem for Logan. This character continually operates under the don't ask, don't tell or, rather the even if she asks, don't tell policy when dealing with Veronica. He is so desperate to keep her, that he doesn't tell her when he messes up or when he is involved in something he shouldn't. What he fails to see, is that it is not his mistakes that drive her away; it is his lies and his willingness to let her be blindsided. Like she was with the Madison situation. Logan knew why Madison was at the suite. He had an opportunity to just tell Veronica what happened when he was telling her about how he hooked up with someone while they were broken up. Instead, he kept it from her and allowed her to be made a fool of when Madison told her about it.

Logan wants to be trusted, yet he continually chooses to be untrustworthy in that he omits information to suit his interests.

I like this in the show. I think that it shows how Logan's immaturity and desperation are just as problematic as Veronica's trust issues in the sense that both breed bad decisions and yield hurtful consequences.

My only problem with VM and LoVe is with the fandom. I hate that there seems to be this large base of female fans who defend Logan to the death, choosing to see him as a victim and Veronica as a heartless bitch, stringing him along and waiting for her next opportunity to hurt him. Logan's overt love for Veronica and his emotional vulnerablity do not make him make him perfect. More to the point, it does not make him trustworthy. Logan behaves like a child. He doesn't want Veronica to be mad at him, so he lies. And he doesn't care about the fact that Veronica is who she is and has self-acknowledged trust issues. He doesn't care about how hard it is for her to trust in the first place or how horrible it is for her when she finds out that her trust has been abused (i.e. Mercer and Mexico). Instead, he only cares about not getting in trouble and not losing her. This is a character trait that goes back to Season 1. So its not that Veronica expects him to be perfect (as I have seen asserted in various parts of the fandom) and leaves when he fails to meet those impossible standards. Rather, she runs from him because and the relationship because she need him to be open with her and he cannot bring himself to do that.

I guess what I am saying is that I don't understand all of these claims that Logan has matured or that Veronica needs to be more understanding or more trusting. Logan has not changed in that he is still emotionally selfish. He only thinks about what he wants and needs from her and he refuses to give her the one thing (honesty) she needs from him. And worse, he abuses her trust. I am not saying Veronica has no issues or that she is perfect, but her suspicions about Logan are valid. She asks the questions because he has never been forthcoming with answers on his own and he continually puts himself in positions to be doubted. In other words, neither character is perfect and both are responsible for the problems in their relationship. Neither is more or less of a victim than the other.

Bottom line: Veronica has never asked a question of Logan that I would not ask of my boyfriend if we were in similar positions.

My best friend, D, is in a bad marriage. Her husband has turned into the most selfish person that I have ever met. And, although "selfish" isn't generally thought of as the worst thing ever, it really is. At least in my mind. How can you build a life with someone, count on him to be there for you and for your children, when he has shown again and again that his needs, wants, dreams, insecurities, impulses, gratification, etc come first, above everything and everyone else? You can't. You just cannot and that is what D is finding out, even if she doesn't want to deal with, not just face, that reality and its implications.

And so she stays, outwardly pretending not to care so to salvage some self-respect, but inwardly hoping that he will change. That one day, he will walk in the door and he will be a good and caring husband and father.

As her friend, it is not my place to tell her what to do. And, honestly, when I look at her and I see how broken she is and how much she still loves him, I cannot bring myself to really push the point that she should leave (though we have discussed my opinions on the matter and she knows how I feel). But I know he will not change. How can you change what you don't even acknowledge? He thinks he is great and that everything wrong in the relationship is wrong because of her.

The worst part is that she believes him. She believes that she is not worth much, that she could not find anyone else, and worse, that if she just tried a little harder, was a better wife, he would be better too. She even told me today, after uncovering yet another infidelity, that it is her fault that he messes around because she enables it.

Ugh! Sometimes I just want to hit him. I can't stand seeing her like this and seeing her kids suffer as a result of his behavior and D's passive misery and marital anxiety. Its just too much. I want to go and physically remove her from the situation. Just get her away so she can get some distance and, hopefully, perspective. I want to do something to fix it all. But I can't. I know I can't do anything but be there for her, but I needed to vent for a second. You all were my "lucky" audience.

Its so funny. When we were kids, I would have never imagine D as she is now. She was smart and cynical and sarcastic. Very Daria. No romantic notions at all. Now...

It just makes me sad.

Well today was the last day of my classes. The semester flew by. Of course, that is a good thing. But as happy as I am to be getting a break, I also am so sad. I hated telling my students goodbye. I almost cried. Oh well. I'll get over it.

Well today is crappy. I don't really have too much to say. just wanted to go on record saying that today sucks. I didn't even have a new episode of ER to look forward to.

So I was at the gym today and this guy was there. I have seen him in there before and each time I am struck by the urge to ask him if he is the brother of an old friend of mine. I think it is him. Actually I am almost positive it is him, but I don't want to go up to him. It seems he is in the same position. So each day we see each other as we work out, covertly sneaking questioning glances and artfully avoiding direct contact. Its really weird. I know I should just suck it up and talk to him. But if its him and I make contact, we will always have to acknowledge each other and exchange pleasantries from then on. We can't go back to pretending we don't know each other. I don't want that. I just want to go to the gym, work out, mentally make fun of the sleazy, stretchy girls (you know hot pants, sports bra, no real work out agenda, but thoroughly stretches out in front of the weight machines),and go home. Socializing? Reconnecting with friends from the past? Not interested.

On a happier note, I love my students this semester. They are great; smart, engaged, respectful (for the most part). And I am not even being sarcastic. Seriously, I actually like them.

Also, I found my wedding dress. It is deep red ya'll. I am walking the aisle like the harlot I always knew I was. Kidding aside though, the dress is really beautiful. Here is a link http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/12284490. It is the third dress in the show (the ruby red one).

I did not set out to find a red dress. I thought I would go the traditional route. But I did not like any of the typical white dresses. They weren't me. And I just decided that this is my wedding and I want to love my dress and how I look and I don't really care how that makes other people feel. And anyway, for God's sake, I have been living with Scott for six years. Ain't nobody buyin' me in white yo.

Oh what do you all think of my new layout?